Actions speak louder than words. You can say you respect your husband,
but he’ll have a hard time believing that unless your behavior backs it
up.
What does respectful living look like? Here are 25 ways you
can communicate respect to your spouse without uttering a word. If
you’ll make it your habit to do these things, the next time you tell
your husband how much you respect him, he won’t have to wonder if you
really mean it.
Choose Joy
It’s true: A happy wife
makes a happy life. Please don’t use moodiness as an attempt to
manipulate your man, but in all things rejoice, because that’s the right
thing to do. (1 Thessaonians 5:16; Philippians 4:4)
Honor His Wishes
Give
weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a
priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when
he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer
time. Don’t make him ask twice. (Philippians 2:4)
Give Him Your Undivided Attention
Yes,
I know that women are masters of multi-tasking, but when your husband
is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his
eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding
and remembering his words.
Don’t Interrupt
Have you
ever been around a person who won’t let you finish a sentence? That gets
old fast. Even if you think you already know what your husband is going
to say, allowing him to say it without cutting him off mid-sentence
shows both respect and common courtesy.
Emphasize His Good Points
Sure,
he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you
(both) miserable. Choose instead to focus on those qualities in your
husband that you most admire. (Philippians 4:
Pray for Him
Ruth
Graham advises wives to “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the
negative.” Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in
prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only
in him, but in yourself, as well. (Philipians 4:6-7; 1 Thessalonians
5:17)
Don’t Nag
Your husband is a grown man, so don’t
treat him like a two-year-old. Leave room for God to work. You are not
the Holy Spirit, so do not try to do His job.
Be Thankful
Cultivate
an attitude of gratitude. Don’t take your husband for granted. Be
appreciative for everything he does for you, whether big or small.
Always say thank you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20)
Smile at Him
Smiles
spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness.
Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful.
Respond Physically
Did
you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s
romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t
slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the
mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only
assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too. (1
Corinthians 7:3-5)
Eyes Only for Him
Don’t compare your
husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair
nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid
watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this
area, as well. (Psalm 19:14; Proverbs 4:23)
Kiss Him Goodbye
I
once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose
wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those
who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be
sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss
when he returns home, for good measure. (2 Corinthians 13:12)
Prepare His Favorite Foods
Although
the rest of the family is not overly-fond of spaghetti, my husband
loves it, so I try to make it at least two or three times a month as a
way to honor him. Next time you’re planning meals, give special
consideration to your husband’s preferences. (Proverbs 31:14-15)
Cherish Togetherness
I
love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares
potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women
normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough
to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think
everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or
handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close
to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is
talking.
Don’t Complain
Nobody wants to be around a
whiner or complainer. It is grating on the nerves. Remember the serenity
prayer: accept the things you can’t change, courageously change the
things you can, seek wisdom to know the difference. (Philippians 2:14)
Resist the Urge to Correct
I
know one wife whose spouse can’t tell a story without her stopping him
fifteen times to correct inconsequential details: “It wasn’t Monday
evening, it was Monday afternoon…. It wasn’t blue, it was turquoise…. He
didn’t ride the bus, he took a shuttle.” Please. Please. Please. Don’t
ever do that to your husband — or to anyone else, for that matter!
(Proverbs 17:28)
Dress to Please Him
Take care of your appearance. Choose clothes your husband finds flattering, both in public and around the house.
Keep the House Tidy
To
the best of your abilities, try to maintain a clean and orderly home.
Seek to make it a haven of rest for your entire family. (Proverbs 31:27)
Be Content
Do
not pressure your husband to keep up with the Jonses. Take satisfaction
in the lifestyle he is able to provide for you. (1 Timothy 6:6-10;
Hebrews 13:5)
Take His Advice
Do not dismiss his
opinions lightly, especially when you’ve asked for his counsel in the
first place. Make every effort to follow your husband’s advice.
Admire Him
Voiced
compliments and heartfelt praise are always welcome, but you should
also make it your habit to just look at your husband in a respectful,
appreciative way. Think kind thoughts toward him. He’ll be able to see
the admiration in your eyes. (Luke 6:45)
Protect His Name
Honor
your husband in the way you speak of him to family and friends. Guard
his reputation and do not let minor disagreements at home cause you to
speak ill of him in public. Live in such a way that it will be obvious
to others why your husband married you in the first place. (Proverbs
12:4; 22:1)
Forgive His Shortcomings
In the words of
Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Please do not hold grudges against your husband. Do not allow a root of
bitterness or resentment find a home in your heart. Forgive your
husband freely, as Christ has forgiven you. (Mark 11:25; Matthew
18:21-35)
Don’t Argue
You are not always right, and you
do not always have to have the last word. Be the first to say, “I’m
sorry.” Be willing to accept the blame. It takes two to argue, so
“abandon a quarrel before it breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:14; 21:19; 25:24)
Follow His Lead
If
you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a
body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to
your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him. (Ephesians
5:22-24)
Proverbs 18:22 tells us, “He who finds a wife finds a
good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Do these 25 things
consistently, and your husband will never have trouble believing that
fact.
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